by Leanna DaCunha @leanasipsongratitude
The holidays are here, and while that may mean it's time for cute sparkly outfits, sweet treats, and endless Hallmark movies, it also means holiday parties, and … tis the season for themed cocktails!
Maybe it's a cultural thing, or maybe it's universal to all families, but Christmas at my house typically revolves around two things: food and booze. There was an array of Christmas drink staples like 'Jamaican Guinness punch', 'sorrel', or the traditional 'rum and eggnog'.
Not only are there a plethora of drinks to choose from, but there's a culture around drinking them. Growing up, I remember all the men in my family sitting around the table, drinking and talking together. My dad worked a lot, so these leisurely moments at family gatherings seemed to be among the few when we could spend quality time together. As I got older, I found myself sitting around that table at every family function with a drink in my hand.
In some strange way, not participating in drinking almost seemed like I was rejecting spending time with my family, which made turning down a drink feel challenging.
This pattern permeated into other areas of my life, and I found myself hovering around the bar at any gathering. The housewarming party, a distant cousin's wedding, and, of course, the office Christmas party.
Learning the tools necessary to create boundaries around alcohol at social gatherings is key. If you're sober, sober curious, or looking to cut back on your drinking in a season of overconsumption, here are some tips for navigating these festive social gatherings.
Why would you want to cut back while everyone else is 'letting loose'?
I get it; the office Holiday party seems to be the only time that your boss has any chill, and HR isn't clocked in. You feel like you can let down your corporate wall, let loose, and relate to your team on a human level.
The idea of approaching the party alcohol-free this year feels daunting. You're not sure if you'll still be able to have fun and be fun or if you can handle the pressure to participate in the office drinking games. But here's the thing, you can do anything if you're prepared for it.
Here's what the holiday party looks like when you're drinking vs not drinking:
Embarrassing Actions VS Fully Accountable
We've all been there, right? You wake up after a night of drinking instantly flooded with panic, "Did I really say that to my boss?!" "Did I call my ex 10 times?!" Being sober allows you to be fully present and fully accountable for your actions.
Memory Loss VS Memories Made
One of the biggest things alcohol steals from us is our time. I've spent hours, honestly probably weeks, of my time in a state of blackout. If I was having good conversations at all, I certainly wasn't remembering them. Sobriety gives us the gift of making memories instead of losing them.
Disrupted Sleep VS REM Sleep
We may think we'll get a good night's sleep from passing out drunk (because we don't wake up in the middle of the night), but we're not getting a restful sleep. We're unable to reach a REM sleep state when consuming alcohol, which leaves us feeling exhausted the next morning. No bueno! Especially if you're expected to work.
Hangxiety VS Baseline
A night of drinking is typically followed by the dreaded hangxiety. The anxious feeling lingers in your body and mind all day long. If you choose not to drink at the party, you're able to access your baseline emotional state or higher.
Overspending VS Control Over Your Money
I was the girl who would start buying rounds of shots for everyone so that I didn't have to drink them alone; sound familiar? Chances are, if you overconsume, you're going to overspend. Not drinking gives you full control over your money. When the sales team suggests you move the staff party to the bar down the street, you'll be able to say "No thanks!" with ease.
Surface Level Convos VS Deep Discussions
What do we even talk about when we're drinking aside from what drink we want to order next or spilling the office gossip we weren't supposed to share? More often than not, the conversations we're having when we're drunk aren't fruitful. When we're sober and present, we can drop into the conversation in a way that isn't possible when we're intoxicated.
Tips for Navigating Social Settings Sober
1. Pre-set Your Boundaries
If you're comfortable, let people know ahead of time that you're not drinking. You can even take the added step of asking them not to offer you any alcoholic drinks when they see you.
When you're at the party, you want to share your boundaries with confidence; if someone asks if you want a drink, respond with "No thank you, I don't drink," instead of "I'm not drinking right now". You don't want to leave a window open for them to offer you a drink again unless you're comfortable repeating the conversation.
Setting boundaries with yourself is also important; you can decide ahead of time what you will say yes or no to and what time you want to leave.
2. Know What You're Drinking
When I first started to explore sobriety and what that might look like for me, I needed to find an alcohol-free rum alternative so I could still participate in festive-themed drinks. I know what my go-to drink orders are as well. Typically, it's a ginger ale with lime, or if mocktails are available, I'll get one of those.
Having a drink order ready will prepare you for when you're asked what you want. Holding a non-alcoholic beverage in your hand also goes a long way in terms of participating and blending in.
3. Have an Exit Plan
Honestly, you don't need an excuse to leave the party, but sometimes, when you're early in your sober journey, it's supportive to have one. Make sure you know when you want to leave and what your exit strategy is. Who are you going to tell, if anyone? What are you going to say? And how are you going to get home? Having all of this mentally lined up will allow for a smooth exit.
4. Entice Yourself With an 'After Party'
Make going home fun by pre-planning an after-party. I like to have a sweet treat, and my favourite TV show is waiting for me. Maybe it's a face mask or catching up on a podcast episode that will get you feeling excited about going home. Make it something you look forward to doing, and you'll be saying bye to your co-workers with ease!
5. Check In With Yourself
Aftercare is important! When you get home, check in with yourself; how did it feel to be out tonight and not drink? Did anything happen that made you uncomfortable? Do you feel proud or excited?
Showing up to social gatherings where drinking alcohol and overconsumption is normalized as a sober or sober curious person takes confidence and self-awareness. When you're grounded in your own decision not to drink, you can let go of anxiety and instead focus on giving a whole new meaning to having fun.
Leanna is a blogger and event planner on a mission to help ex-party girls thrive in "retirement" through community events and resources. Join her free community, The Grateful Sips Social Club.
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