When it comes to your alcohol intake, what's the difference between active versus passive moderation approaches, and might one work better than the other?
Important note: Low No Drinker is not a sobriety or recovery platform; if alcohol is causing serious problems in your life, please seek professional help rather than trying these moderation techniques.
These techniques are for those who, like me, have recognised it's time to make some changes to how they consume alcohol. People who might still enjoy full-strength drinks but want to cut down in some way, whether for a night, a weekend, a month, a year or a lifetime. Here, there is no judgment, no expectations. You are all welcome to drink at our table, and it's about what works best for you.
Active Moderation
Active moderation is generally a structured and intentional break or reduction in your alcohol consumption. It's often tied to challenges like Dry January or Sober October or perhaps a personal detox before a holiday.
It's about setting rules that put structure around the way you consume alcohol, such as:
- No alcohol for a defined period (like Dry January)
- No drinking Sunday to Wednesday, but no rules Thursday to Saturday
- Drinking whatever days you want, but limiting to a specific number of drinks
Pros of Active Moderation
- Provides clear structure and boundaries
- Gives you a definite stopping point
- Takes the guesswork out of decision-making
- Helps you test your boundaries
- Makes it easier to observe how alcohol affects you
- Helps you explore new drinks and habits
Cons of Active Moderation
- Can feel restrictive, especially if you don't like being told what to do (even by yourself)
- Often feels temporary rather than a sustainable lifestyle change
- Creates the "countdown effect"—eagerly waiting until you can drink again
- Can lead to blowout drinking once the restriction period ends
- Doesn't necessarily address long-term habits
The countdown effect is particularly challenging, so be careful here. I've done many Dry Januaries, and I know those final days can feel like the last 500 metres of a 5k run—the longest stretch ever! Then, when day 31 arrives, you might go to the pub and have a massive blowout, undoing all of your good work.
Passive Moderation
Passive moderation is the reverse of active; it's a natural and gradual shift towards drinking less without strict rules. It's more of a lifestyle change than a challenge.
This might look like choosing alcohol-free options because you genuinely want to, not because you have to. It's about losing interest in drinking just because alcohol is available and instead making mindful choices based on what you truly want in the moment.
Pros of Passive Moderation
- Provides a more sustainable, long-term approach
- Doesn't rely heavily on willpower
- Feels more effortless over time
- Becomes part of who you are rather than the rules you follow
- Works well for those who dislike rigid structure
I found this approach worked better for me. Life is flexible—I've got two small kids, a husband, a home, and a business to run. Things change; you're in different places at different times, and strict rules don't always apply. I found it more effective to focus on making a choice in each moment and asking whether a drink would genuinely serve me.
When I say "serve me," I mean: Does it give me anything positive? Is it worth what it's taking away? When I started this way of drinking, for example, if my favourite wine was on the menu, I might choose to have a glass because I genuinely enjoy the taste and experience, but then switch to something non-alcoholic afterwards.
Cons of Passive Moderation
- Takes longer to notice big changes
- Requires significant self-awareness and self-control
- Changes are less obvious than in a structured challenge
- Progress can feel less tangible
It's a more subtle change—a shift in who you are, how you think, and your belief system. These changes take time to take hold and manifest in your actions.
You also need to understand your drinking patterns, triggers, and whether you have the self-control to stop after one drink if that's all you truly want. Without clear rules, you might not feel you're making as much progress as you would with a complete break from alcohol, and that can be disheartening.
Which Approach Is Right For You?
If you're hoping for a definitive answer, I'm afraid I'm going to annoy you here, because: it depends. Only you know what you're going through, what your life is like, and what you're trying to achieve.
My best advice is to pay attention, go slow, give yourself grace, and reflect on how these approaches make you feel. If it's giving more than it's taking, you're on the right path. If it's causing distress or consuming too much mental energy, perhaps it's not right for you at this moment—and that's perfectly fine.
Transitioning Between Approaches
If you're moving from active to passive moderation:
- Practice 'little and often'—try passive moderation during times you'd usually allow yourself to drink full alcohol.
- Default to alcohol-free drinks, saving alcoholic ones for when they truly serve you.
- Notice and honour when you genuinely don't want a drink.
If you're moving from passive to active moderation:
- Set a short-term challenge to remove alcohol completely.
- Track your current drinking patterns and what influences your choices.
- Identify the passive moderation challenges you want to address with a more structured approach.
You may have noticed by now that passive moderation goes hand in hand with mindful drinking principles. Both approaches help you become more aware of your choices and their impacts.
Final Thoughts
Whatever you choose, remember there is no right or wrong. You're making the right choice if you drink in a way that serves you best and fits your lifestyle, not by following someone else's pattern.
Pay attention to how you're feeling, whether through journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or just taking some alone-time to reflect. If your approach isn't working, change something. Ask yourself:
Do I need structure right now?
Am I happy to let things evolve naturally?
Am I satisfied with my progress?
And remember, this is all about finding the method that works best for you. If moderation of any kind doesn't sit well, then don't force it.
Cheers to a life less intoxicated!
I dive into this topic (and many more) in more detail on ep#66 of the Low No Drinker Podcast.
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